Good post.
3n3w defense has been rough for me last couple seasons, too. 3n3w211 can really eat up 43w12, so avoid that...
Low pressing and normal might help stay safe from counters, and you might use down arrow on a DC to protect on break aways, hard tackling should also help. I would use 4 midfielders plus a DMC or AMC, whichever is better for you. AMC can be effective despite opponent's DMC. Look for an mc whose rating is going up for you and try applying an attacking arrow. I would also try mixed passing, especially if you're going to make counter attacks.