I'll buy him!!!!

Oh, wait, I'm only level 4 ... with £5M in the bank ... oh well ... he'd probably get injured in the first 5 mins of the first match I play him and be out for 10 days or something stupid

I find it hard to believe you got this player for 1 token? first of all, you have to pay more just to make the offer, and second, nobody, even at level 16, is letting a player with those stats go for 1 token.