Season 36

[Accyrover]

Just received a fax from the Egyptian FA with regard to this evenings Cup game against square boxes. managed by Marawen Gaber.

Dear big Steve,
We apologise for having to contact you so late in the day and hope your travel arrangements are disrupted by this development.
Here in Macadaderwan we have serious problems, the farmers tractor has left large ruts in our only field for 1000km whilst cutting down this seasons wheat after a heavy down pour, the problem was made worse when Mr Gaber ordered his players to take shovels out for training this afternoon in an attempt to reduce the risk of injury to your Galactic team. Light was fading badly as it is now almost bed time for all the local farmers so no additional assistance could be commandeered.
I would just like to remind you that Stadium El Grandi****hole has no floodlights and only the farmers cow shed 5km away which is used to facilitate the needs of visiting clubs, did you know you are the first club to visit our village renowned stadium and FC.
As we would like for your operations to run as you are used too, could we suggest that for this momentous occasion in both clubs history, that because of the unforeseeable incidents could you use your hotel for your pre match preperations and also changing before and after the game.
Just one more small request, the fleet of tractors and trailers complete with camel skin cushions for your comfortable journey to and from the ground some 65km away; once disembarked just ask the drivers to spread out around the perimeter with headlights on.
Thanking you in advance.
Your humble servant.
Mr Justa Disaterwait Ingtohappen

PS. We enclose this magnificent artist impression of our new stadium, due for completion in 5 years time.
We would like to take this opportunity to invite you back for the grand opening.