I am only good at sarcasm and pun, I am not good at making idioms though... But here it goes-

A match is a disaster, better not to watch it live!!!!
A team nowadays is a lion AWAY, but a cat at HOME!!!!(if u get what i mean)
Having a strong attack and weak defence is like having steroid powered biceps but a baby's calves!!!!!!(I know this one isn't funny)

Another one-

One is never aware of his ST's skills till he breaks his shins against them.