Have you been playing games for 25 years? Remember how games were made by a small team of developers and everything was perfect, intricate and superbly thought out? Well... here you have a list of chapters that would embarrass even Sinclair 128K programmers.
Live Fast, Die Young.
Well, apparently here, people have a life expectancy of 50 years. That's why everyone retires between 32 and 34 years' old. And you can't even negotiate this. But it's ok, the problem is when you pay for a:
...Contract Beyond The Grave:
Let's say you renew a contract for 3 years; next season the player announces he's going to retire immediately (in practice he dies) but if you try to sack him, you still have to pay for a further season that he won't play. You have no chance, you have to hold him or pay wages beyond the grave.
The Proposals You'll Never See
Do you have a direct offer for a player? you'll never know because they won't let you do negotiations via mobile. Get a computer even if you don't have one.
Auctions In The Blind
Are you still on in your mobile device? Are you selling a player? how much time to finish the auction? hm, sorry you can't see.
The Point Of No Return
Have you ever regretted selling a player the moment you click the button? Here there's no turning back. Even if there are no bids, once you put him to sell, there's no turning back.
The Missing Cones
Do you have cones to apply? Sell your player and they'll be gone.
The (PSTA) Post-Selling Traumatic Amnesia
Are you training a special ability? are your cones applied? How much to go? 10, 5, 2 ? Sell him and your buyer will have to start all over again. Your player suffers a stroke when he's sold and loses all his memories of ever training a special ability.
New Year's Depression At The Youth Academy
Are your new talents scheduled to be ready in the first day of the new season? That's bad news for you. Unfortunately the scheduled tasks are poorly organized and in that specific day they'll come 15 minutes too early and despite they are ready in Day 1, they come one season too late. That means your 24 tokens' new talent will be a useless 3-star player.
Once Wrong, Always Wrong
Beware when you build the final stage of your youth academy, health and training facilities. You can never change the calendar again and you risk to waste a player every 3 seasons if he is set to be ready on Day 1.
The Un-Champions League
Have you just won the Champions League? Way to go! But things in the league aren't that good, are they? No problem, there'll always be the Title Holder spot everywhere, so you can defend your title. Oh wait, not everywhere, here you can't.
Secret Champions League
Is your friend doing good in the Champions League? Yeah, he says so... But unless he's in your champion's league, you'll never know what are his standings. Same goes for the Cup, you just can't see anything.
The Abducted Player
Have you reached negative budget? Sad thing, you have been away for a week and your best player was sold. Well, let's check the News and find where he is now. Nope, he isn't playing. Your club directors have actually killed the player and disposed of the body in pars incognita.
The Twilight Zone
You have just started playing Top Eleven, how nice, your friends are playing too! "support my team" they say, "sure, but where's your game?" you ask back... Nowhere to be seen, it's as if your friends don't exist. They are there in another "server", another database, ghostly entities in a parallel dimension.
The Mystery Arrows
Hey, these arrows look great! What willl they do?? Hm... you don't know?? No one one knows, they won't tell. If they tell you, then something dreadful is going to happen. It's for your safety.
Bots In The Server, Bots In The Office
Apparently 120 people and several scientific research centres are not enough. Here you get automated replies most of the times, no matter what it is. Try mentioning tokens out of context, you'll get a reply about tokens, doesn't matter that you were asking about Serbian cake recipes.
The Magical Tactics
You are a football fan, right? You know that no team in the world has ever played with one lonely centreback in football history. Here you can. The man will fight all your strikers single-handed if needed.
The Magical Tactics Redux
Well, sure you've noticed that many teams in real life play with 2 centrebacks, 2 defensive wingers and 1 defensive middle-fielder. Well, here it's "illegal", you lose 80% ball possession, however it's perfectly ok to play with 3 centrebacks, 4 middlefielders and 3 strikers jostling in the box. Makes perfect sense.
Striking Goalkeepers, Goalkeeping Strikers
This is a golden one. Are you going to abandon the game? Make sure you leave players completely out of their places. You'll frustrate a lot of people playing with 4 or 5 goalkeepers, specially in 3N-5inLine-2ST. You may even win the league without knowing. It's very ok to play with everyone out of position, as long as they are in a "legal" formation.
The Locked Screen
Do you have a wall plug in the left side of your bed? Bad luck, no matter how you tilt your screen to have the USB plug on the left, Top 11 flips your screen the other way around and locks it.
Unlock New Levels, Get Much Less! Outstanding commitment!
This one is platinum. As you climb onto new levels they offer you better token deals. Instead of being able to win 35 tokens a season, in the next level you unlock a stronger way to win less 5 tokens, and from level 4 on, you can now win 3 tokens every 4 days up to a maximum of 14 tokens less.
An Offer You Can't Refuse
Every now then, want it or not, the game offers to install an update, but information about what's being updated is nowhere to be seen. There's no log info, nor even a number version. You really don't know. And they, wherever they are, won't tell, for your safety.
Money Deosn't Guarantee You Anything
Surely many of you have already spent some money in this. That's the whole point here. However, even if you pay regularly you don't have any special treatment, you don't become a client, you don't have an account, nothing. You just get the same evasive automated generic replies.
To think that there are people spending thousands and thousands of euros/dollars in this game produced by an immense IT crowd in great scientific labs.
