the jokes thread!!

[kilkenny-rugby]

a garda pulls over a car for speeding.

garda: you were speeding can i see your licence sir?

driver: i dont have one i lost it after i was caught drink driving 4 times!!

garda: what?? show me your registration please?

driver: i dont have any i stole this car after i murdered the owner and placed his body in the boot.

the garda slowly backs away from the car and calls for back up,5 police cars and a fire arms officer arrive.

the fire arms officer clutching his gun tightly shouts to the driver: get out of the car!!

the driver responds calmly: certainly sir.

fire arms officer:can i see your licence and registration?.

driver: thats no problem officer-at which point he hands over the papers to the puzzled garda.

fire arms officer: can you open your boot sir!

the driver opens the boot to the astonishment of the garda its empty.

fire arms officer: one of my garda told me you had a body in your boot??

driver: the lying bastard he probably told you i was speeding too!!!

[Arik]

haha, nice one

[kilkenny-rugby]

haha, nice one

thanks arik!

[Mark Jones]

A visitor to a mental institution asked the director how he decided which patients should be kept in. The director said:"We fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, teacup or a bucket & ask them to empty the bathtub." The visitor said:" Oh, i see, a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest" The director said "No, a normal person would pull the plug out. Would you like a bed near the window?"

[kilkenny-rugby]

A visitor to a mental institution asked the director how he decided which patients should be kept in. The director said:"We fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, teacup or a bucket & ask them to empty the bathtub." The visitor said:" Oh, i see, a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's biggest" The director said "No, a normal person would pull the plug out. Would you like a bed near the window?"

wocka,wocka