Goonskies - From Rags to Riches
i was inspired after reading leddys thread about his football team with a little humour
mines wont be updated as frequently as others (around once a week) but im hoping you guys like it
THIS JUST IN (the thread of course)
A spaceship claiming to have originated from Haagara touched down onto an abandoned stadium and claimed it. The spaceship seemed to be highly advanced since witnesses claim it may have popped out of thin air. "I ain't see no nothing, then the next second POOF I see them" as the slack shouldered locals voice unite to form an awkward echo while the spaceship was landing. As the spaceship opened up the doors, (and to the confusion on both sides I may add) what appears to be a human coming out and speak English, "we are just looking for some competition we can dominate. Teams in the Universal League Banged Big(TM) and Galactic League Milking Away(TM) were far too hard for us so we thought we could dominate you puny humans, I mean enjoy your league as we struggle through hardships, torments, and various cases of glitches in The Matrix. Oh, and why are all of you staring like that? Where I'm from, if you stare like that death rays tend to come out of both eyes, ey" said Head Coach Fonzacus.
During an interview with Head Coach Fonzacus, I have many sneak-peak expectations that fellow viewers may be interested in:
Reporter: What is your true intention for coming to Earth?
Fonzacus: To perform a "treble" this season. Conquering Earth would be a bonus as far as I'm concerned.
R: How are you going to complete a treble? More importantly, why are you going to conquer Earth?
F: By trying to watch my team play and perform various duties such as trading and nurturing players. No comment on the conquering part. I knew i shouldn't have said that, can you edit it out?
R: No, we are on live TV. Do you have a team to compete with? Have you bought the stadium you landed on? Will you be bringing extraterrestial hotties with you?
F: My team is all transfer list rejects from other leagues. The previous stadium owner was killed by me, does it make it mine by your law? if not can you edit that part out too? It seems from our long-going research you did not like our previous hotties such as Jar-Jar Binks, Michael Jackson and that girl that likes to come out from TVs. We would like to capture new people to lead our supporters to domination, the Wankin' Goons.
R: Thank you for your time Head Coach Fonzacus, it is all the time that we have right now, I welcome the overlords from Haagara to our humble Earth, please accept my cameraman and makeup artists as sacrifice. Stank Krunk reporting.
just a recap:
basic team with mostly 10T a season on transfer
no token buying
plays 4-5-1 W (or 4-2-3-1/4-3-3, the CDM is a CAM)
plays like arsenal
prioritize youth
will post pics later
Goonskies - From Rags to Riches
Follow through the journey of both Goonskies FC (Fonzacus) and Rags to Riches FC (Znofrelius) in the epic-novel-trilogy-cluster-duck Goonskies - From Rags to Riches. The story of two pure thirty-five token teams relying on neither buying nor ads, but pure courage, determination, and bromance. Disrupting the Great Circle of Life called the League, Cup, and Champions League will take more than just mad skills, as mythological monsters and dangerous diseases (Trollinho) attempt to stop them on their quest to become the very best, like no one ever was.
=== GOONSKIES ===
Team Name: Goonskies FC
Star Player Name: current/former arsenal players
Stadium Name: Ye Olde Wankin' Grounds (planned)
Supporter Name: Wankin' Goons
Motto: The lunatics, are on the grass
Mascot: Lucy the loose cannon
=== RAGS TO RICHES ===
Team Name: Rags to Riches
Star Player Name: everyday items
Stadium Name: Parc d'Attractions de Trou de Gloire (planned, gloryhole theme park)
Supporter Name: Hentai Hikou no Ichimi (perverted delinquent crew)
Motto: Dem be raggedy son, dem be raggedy
Mascot: Ster the mole
will post pic later
thisll be the first post on many other team showcases
=== NOTE FOR NEW READERS ===
since i cant get a hold of my first account here (the 1 up top), i cant really edit that and update it as i troll along my epic novel, Goonskies - From Rags to Riches, ima say to find a specific season is like trying to find a needle in a haystack making machine on a haystack island where haystack rain like cats and dogs: purely unpossible, especially with no formatting whatsoever
who knows, this might even be the first post every else is updating to make it look nice and well organized, but yeah, me well organized? its an oxymoron of epic proportions
and this is just ancient gibberish down below in case someone was interested with that
was the post i wrote here deleted? im pretty sure i sent it
if it gets removed or whatnot again tell me why
Stank Krunk reporting in on Goonskies FC's first game of the season, and how they miraculously somehow won three games and drew once before without playing. It's like they paid the league, champions league, and cup officials to enter into a league on a planet they've just arrived on. "I just slipped some diamonds onto the officials' desks while pointing my Ion Cannon, if they refuse well I'll gladly return them to the great maker, Carin' Fett. That's how politics work on this planet too right" comments Head Coach Fonzacus, "oh, and it's also the date of my birth, so statistically speaking I should be more trigger happy."
Despite his comments, I will give an 'official' report regarding his matches. He claims he doesn't remember his first two matches, so I'll report on what he can remember.
"Yesterday's match was a debacle, after doing so well the entire game against "The Gamers", my team drew 1-1. A youngen I bought a few hours before felt the need to injure another player and incur the wrath of a non bribed and threatened referee, only to receive a second yellow for carelessly swatting the ball in the box in the 89th minute. %€@®¶& [Haagaran]
I don't remember the second match too because i was out partying so i left my trusty Haagsky to manage for me. Seems he did a good job, I should reward him with the moon to rule.
Our third match was strange. Even though we outclassed them by 9Qs, we had 40 percent possession and ended up winning 1-3. It came with a high price seeing how I just brought my future captain back from the dead, only to die again within 40 minutes. Syahputra said 'hey, don't call me back before 5 days [a little under 2 months] because I'm an extra for The Promenading Lifeless.' The nerve of him, I could just blast him with my Ion Cannon right now.
Our game just now ended in a 1-2 win with another high price as a close friend of Syahputra, Calle, too had a role to play for the new season of 'The Contest of Toilets' as he just left upon kickoff and will return on the same day as Syahputra. Calle should be blasted with my Ion cannon too. "
What drama will unfold as new team Goonskies FC begin to rip up the league? I too have that very same question. Will there be more unexplained disappearances in the tournament?
"Ain't No Gareth to Bale You Out" Wankin' Goons Chant Against the Spuds
thats why i found it weird, opera mini and tapatalk refreshed and had them posted, but nothing showed up when i checked it again later on firefox
sucks how this is the only day i couldnt find any interesting news stories
8/11
My prediction was correct stating I could not attend the Goosnkies versus Hotspurs game. Head Coach Fonzacus's pet haagsky 'Huskies' managed the team as they won 3-2 at home. Since we can not interview the dog I will review it as i watch the highlights from youtube.
First goal of the game came from the new signing Gaca, as Cook tried to curl one in from a corner. Gaca being at the right place at the right time, only had to head the ball into, decided to backflip twice, and bicycle kicked the ball at a snail's pace. Needless to say, the keeper felt bad and let the shot in. The second and third goal came from Hotspurs, so there is nothing really to discuss. The fourth goal of the game came from the injury twin Lowing and Monrroy. Both, who were expected to be out for at least another month (3 more days of injury) somehow recovered just before the game and replaced Flopped Youngster Isla and Viktor 'Ibrahimovic' Ibrahim. The last goal of the game came from another Gaca-Cook combo as the same thing happened again, only on the other side of the pitch.
It seems strange as the video I watched had barely audible voices along with barks such as; 'bark, you think I can't talk, punk? bark' and 'roar, I mean bark, I'm hunggy, that reporter watching the highlight looks tasty, bark'
A 7-0 Win Puts Even More Pressure on Hotspurs
The game where no Wankin' Goons can frown upon as it puts Goonskies on the top of the Goals For and the lowest Goals Against chart. With the new shift in direction and a new spirit to take down Hotspurs, how long will it be til Goonskies claim their second 1st place trophy? Head Coach Fonzacus is ever so busy doing nothing at all as he seems confident at overtaking the bitter arch rival next door. "I don't think I have to change anything, the team is doing well, for now. Not sure when another troll result will happen. I have noticed a slight change in the air, must be another update Nordeus did not mention."
MUAHAHA i just broke my longest days without an injury record, its now 3. the teams doing well ATM, hoping were going to stay on the right track. thing is, i have 12 tokens, i know im going to do something stupid like buy a logo/emblem or change names and stuff -.-'
Breaking News, 2 Players Injured in a Game
It seems the curse has finally fallen upon The Goonskies as Nurochman and Fasano were injured during the Dian FC match. Fasano, a newly signed player, was injured within the opening 10 minutes. People say hope is lost for Nurochman, so we will not discuss his injury any further.
"I thought we were on a roll. We were close to having a consecutive 4 days without injury, shattering our own record by one day. I admit I put too much hope on the team. I don't think we can hold on to the league if more players become injured because I have used up most of my red candy packs. It seems strange how we had two games today, and another 2 games tomorrow's tomorrow, but no matches are scheduled for tomorrow, I get the feeling Hotspurs are behind this strange scheduling. We also won our Dian FC and CPS games 3-0 and 0-6 respectively though, but those games are not worth anything if Trollinho decides to feast my team again."
bought fasano and sold isla, not much of a change TBH except that fasano is 2 years younger and has an extra star, hopnig fasanoll be better than lowing in the long run
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Goonskies Are Now Sporting New Names
With the previous flip of Head Coach Fonzacus after the Manure versus Arse match where Van P did the unspeakable yet again, he decided to rename the players who are staying in the club for long. The players were renamed to:
1 Wookie Chestnut (GK)
5 Tommy Vermin (LB)
4 Piers Murtle (CB)
6 Lori Kochy Kochy (CB)
25 Carlos Jinkies (RB)
10 Jackie Willis (CM)
16 Erin Rambo (CM)
19 Sandy Granola (CAM)
14 Tito Walnut (LAM)
44 Sargent Gnarly (RAM and my favorite XD, probably going to make him as captain, penalty/free kick taker and all that good stuff)
9 Luke Poleski (ST)
23 Andy Arseshaver (C/RAM my 2nd favorite :D)
ill probably rename the other players later on, i still have a few more names up my sleeves
8 Michael Farteater
11 Mesum (means perverted in indonesia) Oil
31 Ryu Miyabi
23 Nicky Bender
24 Aduh (means oh crap) Diapet (a diarrhea medicine in indo XD)
26 Manny Pingpong
58 Giddyup Slalom
forgot about fabregas
Francine Fibreglass
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Head Coach Fonzacus Claims The Goonskies Drew to Heaten Title Battle
An unmanaged 4-0 win against Gogon FC proved to be a vital game, as Hotspurs won their game as well. The second game of the day proved Head Coach Fonzacus threw the game in order to heaten the title battle. The 1-1 draw was all that was needed for The Goonskies and Hotspurs to tie for first place, Goonskies are currently leading by GD (goal difference). "Yes, I threw the game so Hotspurs [expells vomit] can catch up with us [sob]. We somehow [pauses], did drew with JMG. No, I am not blaming Trollinho for this [punches desk]. Rumors have it he was in a terrible accident the other day due to a mutated 'superdog' [pauses, winks at Starsky] who threw a semi on his car [evil laugh]. It was like he didn't know what hit him [winks at Starsky again]. We also don't have a game tomorrow, but have another 2 games tomorrow's tomorrow [shoots picture of FA president]. On top of that it is the third consecutive day we've had an injury. I consider it good pay back, I mean charity for Trollinho as many people feel sorry for him in the hospital [looks at reporter funny]."
wookie chestnut got injured, some guy on my other account got injured. bringing the total to 5 consecutive days for rags to riches -.-
Goonskies Pour 5-0 into Kupchino 42
The title of League Champions is almost over as Goonskies win at home. the 5-0 win was yet another one of those unwatched victories. Sargent Gnarly is trying so hard to match Luke Poleski's current top scorer mark. "If only Head Coach Fonzacus bought me sooner, I probably could be tied for top scorers and assist leaders. Still, Poleski, Granola, Walnut and I are on bromance terms. None of us have been injured, and we are always putting on a show unlike that useless Nurochman."
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Head Hunters and Erin Rambo Injured
15/11
A terrible game happened in the early hours of the day. Head Coach Fonzacus did not change the starting lineup and accidentally fielded the friendly youngsters against Pink FC. The game ended in a 1-1 draw, as head hunters from all over the country are now enraged. "I thought I changed the starting lineup last night. Must be a mysterious disconnect that happened before. I probably couldn't notice because I was tired and sleepy yesterday, one of my many qualities of derping. Erin Rambo also got injured for the first time this season. I will field my strongest players these last two games because the title race is still on. It would bring great dishonor if we lost to Hotspurs, the only way to reclaim my honor is by seppuku."
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Spicy Transfer In Edoardo Misiano From FC Roasted
Some say, a signing of the century, as Head Coach Fonzacus landed another either footed player. Previous seasons have shown what a player Luke Poleski can be. Now we will see if Yoyo Manpogo (previously known as Edoardo Misiano) can exceed expectation to replace the legendary Luke Poleski. He is now clinically depressed after seeing Head Coach Fonzacus's record signing of four tokens shattered by one token to buy Manpogo.
Helmi Nurochman, a flop of a flop, is still lurking around the dressing room shouting "I am the best of the best! Only Messy Leotard is better than me." It has been reported that no team seems to be interested in buying him the past two seasons. This may be the third season in a row.
i also forgot i didnt mention i sold cesar because that was a derp, i wanted to sell pinedo instead
if nurochman werent always injured im guessing he can be as good as poleski since they both were 4* when i bought them, and were the same age, hopefully with him gone the cursell be lifted
will do the matches and the expectations once the league season opens up
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Second Underdog Win, Ready for Third?
Goonskies have found a second wind after defeating fourth strongest in the league Mai FC 1-2 at their home. This could be what Goonskies needed to upset the league as well as push a spot into the Champions League Qualification Place. "The second win in this campaign against a stronger team has set my team in a cheery mood. In a few hours we will be facing third strongest in the league, and I feel we might be able to do well against them. On paper they can easily beat us, but with Trollinho temporarily on our side we can topple any opposition!"
thanks, but yeah i could admit defeat here and the next match though. funny thing how i won, i set my backs with blue arrows and as usual during a counter my CB kochy kochy (koscielny) went up and scored. i was more than happy to get a draw though since it wasnt at home, then he done scored after poleski passed it to him
pique dont got no nothing against murtle and kochy kochy
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Transfers In and Hopes of Fourth Place Trophy Looking Grim
i was actually fishing a response from you, i done good. i healed fibreglass because i wanted to give him a few more tries before i think about selling him
ill rename a few players again once i buy another youngen, which might take a few weeks since im currently broke. got any suggestions for winger names? im thinking about pires and chamberlain
now im 5th strongest in the league, 4th place trophy isnt looking too great because i have a match against better teams every other game
Head Coach Fonzacus bought two new players after selling three. Fan favourite Sandy Granola and Sargent Gnarly, along with Andy Arseshaver, no one cares about him, were sold after The Fonz decided to play the overpowered 4-4-2. The new transfers in, Kanath and Karimian, were treated as emergency transfers and are near retirement. With Goonskies barely able to pay off monthly bills, how will the Wankin' Goons react to no electricity, water and refreshments while at Goonskies Stadium (ill probably change it later on to something catchy)?
Meanwhile as the Goonskies are facing a financial crisis, Club Owner Stank Krunke (lets pretend i didnt name the reporter that) is nowhere to be found. Rumors have it he is enjoying his "Home on the Praire" in Mountaina, 'Murika. Wankin' Goons are in another uproar yet again as they feel the club would be doing a better job if the owner stopped by every now and again to chant campfire songs, roast smores above a bonfire of rival supporters, and cover their bodies with black ink to write a story of sadness (ah loveed that episode).
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Rags to Riches Overtime Game
Goonskies' last friendly against Rags to Riches proved to be a failure. With a massive difference in quality both teams were still fighting for the win during overtime. Both teams were using the same 4-4-2 formation with the same orders and arrows and Goonskies failed to delight the Wankin' Goons. Head Coach Fonzacus II was carried by fan club Sponge-uh Bobre Army on a golden throne, affiliated hooligans of Rags to Riches, and rioted against Wankin' Goons. However, it was weird how both teams rioted inside Hotspurs Stadium, who had nothing to do with the match.
ah that was a funny game. when using my usual 4-5-1 W id usually get 50-50% possession and win by at least 5 goals. now in the 4-4-2 i got 60-40% yet went into overtime. something smells fishy...
both teams won the league matches in the wee hours of the day. now goonskies have a tough hurdle since theyll be facing top of the league wendy tomorrow
o and i was right, an injury did pop up during my 5-days-without-an-injury-celebration-of-the-ages-live-on-foxy thing
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Head Coach Znofrelius Succeeds Fonzacus?
As an ancient Volkswagon Scientist in the commercial puts it, "Oh Snap!" Rags to Riches' Head Coach Znofrelius is currently conquering the league charts with his fantastic team. Stank Krunke is trying to buy the manager from Rags to Riches Owner Hill-Billy-Bob-Joe Jimmy-Dean to replace Flopped Legendary Manager Fonzacus.
just stopped by to have a peek into the league charts and found it awesome. im guessing im hated in the league, but ah well, its only another weekish
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Third Straight Win and Third Place Trophy
Against all odds, Goonskies are now in third place. Among the top contenders for the title, the team can now be considered 'a force to be reckoned with, on a budget' As the season is drawing to league match day twenty, every game counts. As stated before if, Fourth Place were considered a trophy, then Third Place should be considered the Holy Grail King Arthur sought after with his budget team of flopped knights.
"If only I could change match days as well. I just realized the scheduling was still buggy with two games every other day, and an empty day in between. Oh great and mighty Lurker Cat Harrison and Esteemed Elder Viewers, what ever shall I do? Lend me the knowledge of Time-Space Continuum and help me change match days."
screenie note: top one is saturday