*reuters* leddy fc news

[zJordan]

Chairman Joker Arroyo "We will pay whoever brings us Cheese, or his head £8M upfront, no cheques, just the bag(s) of money. We look forward to sorting through the fakes but hopefully we see the real-deal once whoever is helping him decapitates his head and sends it to us. (No really, bring him to us alive!), Thank you, and also please wish us good luck in our CL game later!"

[Cat Harrison]

What's up with the team? I hope the charter didn't crash.
Inquiring minds want to know...

[July Fourth]

Chairman Joker Arroyo "We will pay whoever brings us Cheese, or his head £8M upfront, no cheques, just the bag(s) of money. We look forward to sorting through the fakes but hopefully we see the real-deal once whoever is helping him decapitates his head and sends it to us. (No really, bring him to us alive!), Thank you, and also please wish us good luck in our CL game later!"

We offer £150M.

July Fourth have made it clear to any referee's out there that want to mess with us that they will never get away with it.

[leddy]

PRESS STATEMENT FROM LEDDY FC

We wish "Wolf FC" good luck in CL match, we hope it goes or it did go well.


*THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER* front cover....Is "Helmet Cheese" the most hated man in football ? in this issue we look at why "Cheese" has made a right "Gorgonzola" of himself...Dodgy games and now on the run as a fugitive..Pick up a copy at all crap news stands.


With no cup games LEDDY FC win 4-2 at home and stay 6 points clear. "Maurice Glib" caretaker manager talked about the sacking of "Twat" for the first time today "Tragedy,When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on,It’s tragedy"

"CHEESE" has been seen in a Rehab for ex Refs in "Sacramento" California, By the time the police were notified "Helmet" had fled on a motorbike.... The American Nation were amazed to see the chase on "Fox news" as "Cheese" was chased down the highway by choppers,bikes and cars. The chase continues through different States and is thought to be heading for "Vegas".

[leddy]

*REUTERS* NEWS FLASH


"CHEESE" Rode his bike straight onto a waiting plane at "LAS VEGAS" airport, it was one of those open backed ones where his cohorts were waiting for him. "Fox news" caught the action as "Cheese increased speed as the plane was on the run way. he just made it as the plane took off. The serial number of the plane is regestered to a drug baron in "Columbia" called "Diago Theodore Cheese", it seems the Hungarian born mother was married too a South American.....The plot thickens......

[leddy]

*NEWS FLASH*


US fighter planes have circled the The plane with "Cheese" onboard and tried to shoot it down before it got into Columbian airspace, a hit was reported as it got to there and the fighter planes had to return home.....it is reported the plane went down in Columbia and is unsure if any one survived, it could be that Cheese and cohorts are stranded in the jungle.


LEDDY FC ex manager Dingle twat has said "its difficult trying to getting anyone interested in buying the club with me, we have a few weeks left until the end of the season to try and organise something".....it could be curtains for them as they try and make it a hatrick of league titles back to back.

[zJordan]

We did well in our Champions League game, forgot the result .

Wolf FC have landed their Head of Security "The Wolf Man" in Columbia to search the wreckage with his wolves as they are trained to home in on a Cheese smell which is believed to be what Helmet Cheese smells like.

In other areas of football Wolf FC have updated their website with a Most Wanted list, it contains all the family of Helmet Cheese, and Helmet himself at number 1.

[leddy]

*FOX NEWS*


The wreckage of the shot down plane containing fugitive and all round knob "Helmet Cheese" has been located by air, it is in a remote part of the jungle and is hard to get to by foot or road as their are no roads. Aerial shots show that their are some casualties, pilot slumped and a lady too, their are no signs of anyone else, we think "Cheese" survived and is out their somewhere. "The Wolf man" has been sent alongside Columbian Police to try and locate him. We think "Cheese" could be making his way to "Diago Theodore Cheese's" mountain retreat some 300 miles away.


LEDDY FC News in a bizarre twist it is thought that "Nestle" are thinking of helping "Twat" to become chairman by investing, the fans are not happy but if this is the only way LEDDY FC can continue next season a ballot will be sent to season ticket holders....A " Nestle" spokesman said " we were distraught after the death of super cook "Norma Stitz" and being dropped as sponsers, but we would like to make amends by buying the club and making "Dingle" Chairman. We hope if no other buyer comes in and the fan ballot is in our favour ? we will be giving away free "Milky bars" at every home game to home fans.

LEDDY FC are at home in the league to CP FC 1904 tonight, they hope to maintain a six point gap at the top. Physio "Megan Sheman" said, we are unbeaten in the league so far, just a shame it wasnt to be in the cup comps, It didnt help I changed gender, ran away with "Cheese" and all the other dramas that follow this club"

"Sam Scoop" asked "Megan" what she thought of the whole "Koch Cheese" affair, she began to cry and then said it will all come out in my auto biography but I hope they find him alive, as for "Koch" I dont really care if he goes down for shooting and trying to abduct me"

[leddy]

*REUTERS* 21.11

LEDDY FC win 3-0 away from home in a laughable game,they were 0-0 when MC Jedjavic was sent off for spitting, they then go on and win 3-0....Cook "Ji (Norma)" said "its a crazy game, then after with a bit of light training we get two more injuries to add to the list"LEDDY FC move 8 points clear at the top in an undeserved win.
Striker Ritchie Blackmore said "we were lucky the other side played well, we were like un "Perfect Strangers".


FOX NEWS "Helmet Cheese" is still on the run.

*REUTERS* "Herman Koch" faces trial about the bungled abduction and shooting of "Megan Sheman" next week and is said to be acting strange after hearing "Cheese" is in Columbia, sources say he is planning another escape.

[zJordan]

The Wolf Man has been sent a Satellite phone to contact Wolf FC to keep them up-to date on what is happening with the hunt, The Wolf Man currently has an arsenal of weapons of "1 x Dog Whistle, 2 x Trained Assassin Wolves, 1 x AK-47 with 17 magazine clips, 1 x 4-man tent (His wolves are the size of two men, he sleeps with them to keep warm), 1 x Gas Bottle, 24 x Just add water pot noodles, 1 x Night Vision thingys, 1 x 4-pack Chewing gum, 3 x 10-pack of Coke, 1 x Satellite phone, 4 x Socks (he doesn't wear shoes, he likes to feel like a wolf), 48 x Raw Steaks for wolves"

If he uses all those there is no way CHEESE IS GETTING AWAY!!!

The Wolf Man is equipped to hunt with his wolves for 24 days, but if the hunt requires more time we can helicopter in some supplies!!! There is some concern circulating as he will be hunting to kill Cheese.

Wolf FC have agreed to release a picture of him before we found him in the Amazon Rain forest a few weeks ago.



Addition: It appears I added the wrong photo