*reuters* leddy fc news

[leddy]

LEDDY FC NEWS

LEDDY FC have their biggest win in The Cup, a 9-0 annihilation of The Shadows away in Italy, a level six team who's manager wasn't present due to him being seen riding around Rome on his Vespa saying Ciao to all the Grockels. Not even The Shadow's striker Hank Marvin could Pluck anything out of the air for a goal.

TWAT said " yeh its a good day in Rome" he then went on to say that one day he would like to have a team filled with all over 30's who win the league. Intead of our Cocks ( the knobs) eleven we could have a crocks eleven.

Earlier before their flight to Rome they scraped a home win in the league 2-1 to some team we cannot pronounce.



NEWS FLASH

JOY HURTFUL still will not tell where the head of Norma is and has been charged with Vandelism.

Talking of Norma, her daughter Ji (Norma) Stitz has gone into labour and is at "Breaking Waters" maternity Hospital on the outskirts of Town as we speak. Some say that Ji is the daughter of Helmet Cheese as Norma also had a fling with Helmet some years ago, although It seems alot of people are coming out of the woodwork from 20 years ago claiming to have sampled Norma's legendary Babs.


Manager Dingle Twat has asked Mrs Dingle to order The Jeff Stelling magnum opus book for Xmas.