I think you have the correct idea about how to play against defensive teams.
A couple things I would recommend trying.
1. Experiment with pressing high and/or using m2m marking. Khris explained in a different thread on the forum that pressing and marking are only linked to condition loss and a defense bonus. I think Khris is correct about this.
2. Experiment with turning the offside trap ON against counter-attacking managers. And leaving the trap OFF against managers that don't play on the counter.
Logically, defense/normal + low press should be the solution against counters. But logic is a foreign concept in this game.