on your second point, I personally have focused from the start on physicals because all the players at the low levels aren't great, so to have guys who are faster, stronger and can keep running for much more of the game is far more effective in my eyes than having technically skilled players. I often find in league games its 0-0 at 30 mins and 5-0 at FT and its not a coincidence.

regarding your first point, i dont think you can choose at all, the game just assigns the points and i think it tries to keep them all reasonably rounded within that category, so i dont think you can have 20 handling and 40 tackling for a defender, as nice as that'd be.