REUTERS
LEDDY FC are to have a director of football to oversee things, "Damien Clitz" takes the post tomorrow. Chairman "Willie Hat" said "Clitz" and "Twat" will work together hopefully culminating in a thunderous climax at the end of the season with both CL and league trophies in their site.
LEDDY FC TV NEWS
LEDDY FC hit top spot by one point after winning 5-0 at home while Galatasary could only manage a draw at home in a shock 1-1.
"TWAT" a great day for us in the title race, but we are only half way through the season with games against our two rivals for the title to come.
LEDDY FC also draw at home in 2nd leg CL match and go through 4-3 on agg to the 1/4 finals.
The charity bash to raise cash for physio "Megan Sheman's" op raised a total of £ 4.99 when only 2 tickets were sold for the event.
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"Helmet Cheese" was summoned to the prison heads office today, He was told that he is to be transfered to share a cell with "Hacker (two knobs) Holst" ...... The Guv also told him that if he trains the the screws well and they beat local prison across the border in Poland that he would have a cell to himself again......untill then its the anusol cream for cheese.