*reuters* leddy fc news

[leddy]

I really like July's suggestions, Ben Dover ! rofl love this thread...

Yeh its the old Ben Dover and Phil Macavity joke lol.

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REUTERS

Cheeseand the prison gang of misfits are en route across the border for the game against polish prison. Rasputin Bollocksvich ,Bobby Bellender ,Ivor hardy and the rest are all squashed into a mini van where Cheese has to stand at the back due to him not being able to sit down at the moment.

Cycki V The Knobs takes place later tonight.


LEDDY FC TV NEWS

After this afternoons home league match, LEDDY FC will board a flight from Gatwick to Denmark for 1st leg of CL 1/4 final against VIDA FC.
"TWAT" we are getting a little closer now....no mistakes and an away goal will do us"


Fans are pushing for a statue of late cook "Norma Stitz" to be erected outside the ground, they would also like Sky presenter Jeff "The legend" Stelling to come and do the honours at the opening.

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LEDDY FC TV NEWS


LEDDY FC remain one point clear a the top of the league with a home 2-1 win...Twat said " our goal diff is not as good as 2nd place Galatasary but at least we are just ahead for now....its getting to the point of the season when it will be squeaky bum time"


It was a quick flight to Denmark where LEDDY FC crush Vida FC 6-0...Twat said " wow I have been tinkering all season with whats the best side to play, I went to players and positions that we used last season and hey presto B Jevjevic switched sides in midfield and rewarded us with two goals, I hope we haven't peeked too soon, it was like this two seasons ago when we got to the final and were hot faves....we all know about the Amsterdam arena fiasco as its gone down in forum folklore. With the final to be in Barcelona at The Nou camp we sure would love another chance at old Big ears....The Nou camp was the setting to probably the greatest come back in a final in 1999 where Solksjaer and Sherringham ransacked the Germans in 2 mins at the end of time, but I am getting ahead of myself here...we have a 2nd leg in 1/4 final to play. Lets hope Ritchie Blackmore can be our "Black Knight" in shinning armour for the rest of the season and R.Plant can lead us to a "Stairway to heaven".



SPEIGEL ONLINE

Helmet Cheese and the Knobs have arrived in Poland and are training for the game later tonight.......Cheese said......."I have PILES of work to get this bunch to win or my life will be hell"...he then asked Sam Scoop the reporter if he had any Anusol cream.

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SPEIGEL ONLINE NEWS FLASH


CHEESE,COCKSTANTIN,O REA,LARGER AND BOLLOCKSVICH ON THE RUN.

Last nights match against CYCKI and The KNOBS was a tight affair but not without contoversy. At Half time it was 1-0 to CYCKI, Mike Wazowski put them ahead after he Nutmegged "Shaft" to score. Cheese rang the changes at half time and brought on Girth larger,Dai O Rea. In a bruising encounter things looked set for a CYCKI win, with only ten mins to go Oliver Cockstantin headed a goal from a corner kick as he jumped up to meet the ball with his erected outstretched neck.

With the clock ticking down to go into extra time Rasputin Bollocksvich slammed home the winner, Cheese and all ran on to mob and grab Bollocksvich. He was having none of it as he ran to the fans to celebrate but he kept running and running past the stewards and out of the ground. Cheese , Cockstantin, Larger and O Rea ran after him before the guards realised what had happened, the rest of the team twigged but where shut off from leaving the ground while Bollocksvich and the other four where gone.


LEDDY NEWS

After the match last night in Copenhagen the lads went to Gladaxe to the scene of where led Zeppelin played their first ever gig in 1968 as "The new Yardbirds". Twat said"being a fan all my life I couldnt miss the chance to go to Gladaxe".

It was then on a plane to Tokyo for this mornings league match against Toonham, LEDDY FC stuck to the side that won 6-0 yesterday in CL and won 4-0. As the next matches are not until tomorrow eve, the lads will spend the day and sample everything here. Striker Ritchie Blackmore said" I hope to find my "Woman from Tokyo".

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LEDDY TV NEWS

A statue of Norma Stitz is to be erected at the end of the season to commemorate the 2nd anniversary of her death. Whether Jeff Stelling will turn up is anyones guess.

Freddie Murberry who is still out in Poland where he trained the CYCKI side said about last nights match and escape " They scored then some of them were off like a "Flash Ahaaaaa" and off into the Universe."

[zJordan]

After the Poison Ivy Cream incident Cheese is said to be consulting with prison-doctors to ask for a worm tablet as he suspects he has caught worms from the last soap incident.

Cheese is still using his Poison Ivy-compromised cream for his past, present and future incidents. Wolf FC have sent him more bottles under the company name "INNOCENT CHEESE FUND".

Wolf FC have also sent him a compromised worming tablet under the same company name of "Innocent Cheese Fund", the worming tablet is in fact just a Psychotic pill mixed with beef tapeworm eggs, it will infect him with tapeworms and it will make him act like a child for a few days until the psychotic leaves the body.

The spokesman for the Innocent Cheese Fund is the Wolf FC COO who persuaded the then-Chairman to hunt for Cheese.

Innocent Cheese Fund promises to continue sending him the bottles of cream and worming pills until Cheese no longer has the mental ability to function.

[Croft Original]

SPEIGEL ONLINE NEWS FLASH


CHEESE,COCKSTANTIN,O REA,LARGER AND BOLLOCKSVICH ON THE RUN.

Last nights match against CYCKI and The KNOBS was a tight affair but not without contoversy. At Half time it was 1-0 to CYCKI, Mike Wazowski put them ahead after he Nutmegged "Shaft" to score. Cheese rang the changes at half time and brought on Girth larger,Dai O Rea. In a bruising encounter things looked set for a CYCKI win, with only ten mins to go Oliver Cockstantin headed a goal from a corner kick as he jumped up to meet the ball with his erected outstretched neck.

With the clock ticking down to go into extra time Rasputin Bollocksvich slammed home the winner, Cheese and all ran on to mob and grab Bollocksvich. He was having none of it as he ran to the fans to celebrate but he kept running and running past the stewards and out of the ground. Cheese , Cockstantin, Larger and O Rea ran after him before the guards realised what had happened, the rest of the team twigged but where shut off from leaving the ground while Bollocksvich and the other four where gone.


LEDDY NEWS

After the match last night in Copenhagen the lads went to Gladaxe to the scene of where led Zeppelin played their first ever gig in 1968 as "The new Yardbirds". Twat said"being a fan all my life I couldnt miss the chance to go to Gladaxe".

It was then on a plane to Tokyo for this mornings league match against Toonham, LEDDY FC stuck to the side that won 6-0 yesterday in CL and won 4-0. As the next matches are not until tomorrow eve, the lads will spend the day and sample everything here. Striker Ritchie Blackmore said" I hope to find my "Woman from Tokyo".

I see you managed to sign that talented young winger O'rea, did you manage to keep his signing quite or did it all leak out & you had some stiff competition.

[leddy]

I see you managed to sign that talented young winger O'rea, did you manage to keep his signing quite or did it all leak out & you had some stiff competition.

Yeh O'Rea is on the runs at the moment lol.

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LEDDY FC TV NEWS

LEDDY FC host two home games this afternoon and eve, first off is 2nd leg of CL with LEDDY 6-0 up against VIDA FC...Megan Sheman said " players all fit except DMC Kalpoe who is out for 8 days with a broken foot, lucky for us we have an equal replacement of T.Giddens."

Then its the crucial league match against STALUTA who are in 3rd place in the league and are no mugs. Twat said "its crucial we beat them to keep a point ahead of galatasary who are breathing down our necks and have already won their game today to go above us."

Freddie Murberry is back in England and back with the squad.




SPEIGEL ONLINE NEWS FLASH, SKY, BBC ITV, COSMO, DOGGY MONTHLY, THE BEANO, CHEESE'S OF THE WORLD TV, ANUSOL NEWS LETTER, LEDDY TV NEWS, TOP ELEVEN FORUM, BIG AND BOUNCY UK EDITION, BARBADOS NEWS FEED, CALIFORNIA TIMES, WATERLOOVILLE GAZETTE, COLUMBIAN DRUG BARONS RADIO, GOULASH NEWS.


CHEESE FOUND DEAD

The body of a man who is believed to ex ref "Helmet Cheese" was found some 6 miles away from CYCKI prison footy ground ..At this stage we have no idea how why or where exactly......COCKSTANTIN,O REA,LARGER, BOLLOCKSVICH have been found and caught and are on their way back to Bellendson Prison.

If it is the body of Cheese this would end one of the most imfamous stories in world Football which goes back almost two years since the CL Final in Amsterdam.


Sam Scoop reporter said" this is dramatic if true the coming months on here will be not the same not talking about "Helmet". The news channels at the moment are hot with this topic"

More on the story as we get it.

[Croft Original]

CHEESE FOUND DEAD

Lets hope this is not true, I smell something funny about this story, maybe cheese has just been in the sun too long LOL