*reuters* leddy fc news

[leddy]

*REUTERS*21.21pm


SPANISH CLUBS IN MATCH FIXING SCANDAL


Last years CL finalists LEDDY FC have been knocked out in group stages this time around. They did what they had to do and won by their biggest margin in CL winning 6-0. thus putting them in 2nd place behind already qualified spanish team CD TENERIFE. TENERIFE were at home against another spanish team who now needed a win to pip LEDDY FC. TENERIFE lost their only game of the group 2-1 thus elimanating LEDDY FC.

When looking at the teams, CD TENERIFE fielded their entire reserves, thus making their team less in quality than their opponents.
Manager of LEDDY FC Dingle Twat has been fired..TWAT Said " we are gutted and angry that this has happened ,we should have gone through but the Spanish Amarda clubbed together to shaft us. I have to say though it was our first two games that we drew that has cost us, but it still wrankles as we are out and I have lost my job.

First team coach "Maurice Glib" has been made Caretaker untill the end of the season. Glib said "Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around since I was born,
(in a higher octave) But now it's all right, that's okay
You may look the other way"

No news yet on the where abouts of "Helmet Cheese"

[zJordan]

Wolf FC Manager suspended for accidently telling Head of Security to get his wolves to maul the Barbados Environmental Minister while on the hunt for Helmet Cheese, the man mauled in the photo posted earlier on was indeed Barbados Environmental Minister who wouldn't allow Head of Security to hunt for Helmet Cheese with his wolves.

Retired Captain Price will take the reigns until the warrant for Jordan's arrest is withdrawn after the payment to Barbados is accepted. (£2 this time)

[leddy]

*REUTERS*22.55


LEDDY FC have banned Spanish omelette and Hungarian Goulash from being served at all home games.

"Megan Sheman" was discharged from hospital and is flying back to UK to rejoin LEDDY FC as Physio, it is still unsure about what baggage she has on her. At passport control they were a little quizical when her passport said "Morgan Sheman". On hearing the news of "Twats" sacking she seemed to be upset stating"its such a shame as "Twats" are hard to come by.
The journo feels we know which way the op went.

"Herman Koch" is to still face trial even if "Cheese is not found.

[leddy]

*REUTERS* 9.50am

LEDDY FC get ready for todays crucial away leg in the cup to "Somalia" it stands at 1-1, after last nights bombshell that Spanish Clubs fixed a result to dump Leddy out of the CL group stages morale is very low. "Dingle Twat" gone and "Maurice Glib" in as caretaker.The club is in demise.

Rumours are surfacing the asthma sufferer Chairman "Vlad (the) Inhaler is to leave the club at the end of the season taking his finances with him, so much so he has given the reigns to his younger brother, who owns a chain of shops back in Romania......."Vlad (the) Retailer" will see things through until the end of the season.

"Megan Sheman" is back in the fold after op and will get working on the boys for the cup game. Ace striker "Ritchie Blackmore" said "Megan isnt "My woman from Tokyo" but she is our woman from Tewksbury"


"Herman Koch" tried to end it all in jail by listening to "Justin Bieber" 24/7 (enough to kill anybody), but when some eagle eyed or eared Jalior twigged what was going on he stuck on some "Led Zeppelin" where Koch came around from his deep sleep he was drifting into from "Beiber".

"Helmet Cheese" was spotted getting on a boat dressed as a banana, the authorities have been told and a swat team in a helicopter is beleaved to be circling the boat out in the Caribbean heading towards the coast of "Florida" .

[leddy]

*REUTERS*


LEDDY FC have landed in iran for the crucial 2nd leg cup game, "Megan" was onboard. Caretaker boss "Maurice Glib" said "Night fever, night fever.
We know how to do it.
Gimme that night fever, night fever.
We know how to show it.

Positive words from him indeed !!!


In the Caribbean swat team located boat and landed on board to capture the man dressed as a Banana, when revealed it wasn't "Cheese" but look alike "Petrov Doubloff". The swat team spokesman "Trent Seattle" said "Cheese could be anywhere in the world right now, but we will track him down"

back home the whereabouts of ex LEDDY FC manager is unknown...Reporter "Sam Scoop" said " Twat was always hard to track down and ask questions when manager...slippery little thing thats always hard to locate""

[zJordan]

The arrest warrant for the real manager of Wolf FC has been withdrawn so he will be back in time for our 2nd leg Cup clash which is a crucial win!

On the other hand we are demanding that Barbados return £6M out of £12M because the deal was for both Cheese and the other guy..

[pnr8555]

Deleted. Wrong thread

[leddy]

*REUTERS*

LEDDY FC dumped out of Cup, after a 24 hours to forget LEDDY FC lost 2-1 away in Iran...Before "Maurice Glib" could say anything the reporter said"oh shut the F up with your stupid song lines"

Maurice Glib is beleaved to be moving to Massachusetts at the end of the season.

The Vlad brothers have pulled out of the club with their finances and gone back to Romania sfter todays defeat too look after their other brother (train driver) Vlad (the) Derailer who crashed his 4.55 to Budapest today.

With no full time manager and no chairman....The demise is coming quick for this south coast club.

[zJordan]

Wolf FC wish them the best.

Could Wolf FC be preparing to pay Sherlock Holmes to help find Cheese?

[leddy]

*REUTERS*


"Wallygong Fosters" the new youth coach is set to start tomorrow after watching his homeland fail to win the first Ashes test, un beknown to him The club will be playing "Jeruselum" as the players take to the field for all home matches at all levels.

After being dumped out of two cup comps, LEDDY FC morale was low but a home 5-1 win in the league helped a little to bring spirits up and reamain top by 6 points.

Reporter Sam Scoop could not be bothered to ask Caretaker/Coach "Maurice Glib" what he thought about the win due to the naff Statements. Instead he asked new cook Ji(norma) Stitz what she thought...."Well it was a full house today and The baps sold like hot cakes, just hope we find a full time manager and Chairman otherwise its curtains for the club, also well done to Englands great win in the Ashes"

" Herman Koch" faces trial for the "Megan Sheman" shooting next week......."Helmet Cheese" who is on the run has got a big bounty on his head, "Wolf FC" say that Sherlock Holmes" will come out of retirement to find the missing "Helmet". What "Cheese" doesnt know is if he stayed in jail he would of been set free due to the fact he was with "Megan" and it was "Koch" who fired the shot and caused the altercation. But as he escaped from jail he will now be charged when found as a fugitive. "Cheese" seems to have made a Koch of himself.


*STOP PRESS*

ex LEDDY FC manger "Dingle Twat" has been interviewed by "Sam Scoop", in part of the interview "Dingle" said that he is trying to get a consorteum together to take over the club and stop it from going into liquadation at the end of the season since "VLAD" pulled out after cup and CL exits. Twat" said " If I can I will get some people together to help buy the club and I will become Chairman, I have a manager in mind who I think could take the club to the next level that I couldn't do.