*reuters* leddy fc news

[leddy]

*FOX NEWS*


The wreckage of the shot down plane containing fugitive and all round knob "Helmet Cheese" has been located by air, it is in a remote part of the jungle and is hard to get to by foot or road as their are no roads. Aerial shots show that their are some casualties, pilot slumped and a lady too, their are no signs of anyone else, we think "Cheese" survived and is out their somewhere. "The Wolf man" has been sent alongside Columbian Police to try and locate him. We think "Cheese" could be making his way to "Diago Theodore Cheese's" mountain retreat some 300 miles away.


LEDDY FC News in a bizarre twist it is thought that "Nestle" are thinking of helping "Twat" to become chairman by investing, the fans are not happy but if this is the only way LEDDY FC can continue next season a ballot will be sent to season ticket holders....A " Nestle" spokesman said " we were distraught after the death of super cook "Norma Stitz" and being dropped as sponsers, but we would like to make amends by buying the club and making "Dingle" Chairman. We hope if no other buyer comes in and the fan ballot is in our favour ? we will be giving away free "Milky bars" at every home game to home fans.

LEDDY FC are at home in the league to CP FC 1904 tonight, they hope to maintain a six point gap at the top. Physio "Megan Sheman" said, we are unbeaten in the league so far, just a shame it wasnt to be in the cup comps, It didnt help I changed gender, ran away with "Cheese" and all the other dramas that follow this club"

"Sam Scoop" asked "Megan" what she thought of the whole "Koch Cheese" affair, she began to cry and then said it will all come out in my auto biography but I hope they find him alive, as for "Koch" I dont really care if he goes down for shooting and trying to abduct me"